All American Eyeglasses

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
#
# Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
# Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
# Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
# Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
# Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Heehee I love the way this is showing all the Y!A participants who don't bother to read the details and just look at the question title!
Shelley... are you aware that Gay marriage is legal in the UK and in several American states? Do you know that animals in the wild exhibit homosexual behaviour?

I've read this list before. It's quite witty and well-written. What I got the biggest kick out of is the doofus who completely and hilariously misunderstood the list.

2007-09-29 07:29:21 by Pebbles

All American Eyeglass Repair 614-459-3497 www.yellowbook.com

1. Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4. Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6. Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
(more to come in a minute)
7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

What do you think about this? Note that it is satire.

lol! That's great!

2007-09-29 19:49:56 by That Gay Guy for Da Ben Dan

In his new healthcare proposal?
http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2010/02/2 3/john-kartch-health-care-obama-taxes-fa mily/

No New Taxes, Mr. Obama?
By John Kartch
- FOXNews.com

On Monday, the White House unveiled a health care plan with a net tax hike of at least $700 billion over the next ten years. What happened to the promise that no family making less than $250,000 will see their taxes increase?



One year ago, President Obama addressed a joint session of Congress and restated his central campaign promise: “If your family earns less than $250,000 a year, you will not see your taxes increased a single dime. I repeat: not one single dime.”

But on Monday, the White House unveiled a health care plan with a net tax hike of at least $700 billion over the next ten years. Not only does the plan increase taxes more than the House and Senate bills already roundly rejected by the public, several of the tax hikes in the plan violate Obama’s tax pledge. Let’s look at a few examples:

Individual mandate excise tax: The White House gets creative with its terminology here, preferring to call this tax a “payment” or an “assessment.” This provision would require all Americans to purchase health insurance – as a condition of lawful existence – or pay an excise tax.

This tax was also a pillar of the House and Senate health bills, both endorsed by the White House. In a famous exchange with ABC’s George Stephanopoulos last September, Obama refused to admit that the tax was actually a tax, forcing Stephanopoulos to read aloud the dictionary definition of the word “tax” to the President.

Employer mandate tax: If an employer does not offer health coverage, and at least one employee qualifies for a health tax credit, the employer must pay an additional non-deductible tax for all full-time employees. This would apply to all employers with 50 or more employees. Small business owners pay their taxes on their owners’ 1040 forms, and there is no exemption for employers making less than $250,000.

Special needs kids tax: This provision caps pre-tax Flexible Spending Account (FSA) contributions at $2,500 per year – currently, these accounts are unlimited. There are 30 million American families using FSAs for everything from deductibles to eyeglasses, but hardest hit would be families with special needs children. These families often rely on their FSA for special needs education, which can cost thousands of dollars per year.

“Haircut” for medical itemized deductions: Currently, those facing high medical expenses are allowed a deduction if the total cost of the expenses reduces the filer’s income by 7.5 percent. The new White House provision would raise that threshold to 10 percent.

Excise tax on indoor tanning services: Leaving no stone unturned in its hunt for revenue, the White House adopted the Senate’s “tanning bed tax”. Those using indoor tanning services will be hit with a 10 percent excise tax.

None of the provisions above include exemptions for families making less than $250,000.

Take a look at the plan yourself at the White House Web site, then click over to Obama’s Change.gov site. Under the “Taxes” category, it still reads as follows: “no family making less than $250,000 will see their taxes increase.”

Somebody has some explaining to do.

John Kartch is director of communications for Americans for Tax Reform and a Fox Forum contributor.

He lies.

2010-02-24 06:59:13 by Madd Hatter

I know these are sold cheaply as an accessory with fake lenses in them but I would like to put my prescription in them. What eyeglass stores would have this (almost exact) style, shape, and size? If you know of an American chain of eyeglass stores that would have these, please tell me or post a link.
Here's what they look like:
http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a34/sus hiwhore/0000015.jpg

Thank you! All help is greatly appreciated. 10 points best answer.
I've already been to an Eyemart Express and they didn't have quite what I wanted. The closest I got was a style for men, so they fit awkwardly.
haha That's not me but she looks almost EXACTLY like me. That's why I want those frames, because they looks so cute on her!
I was thinking of bringing in some of the cheap lenses but my dad said that they wouldn't be able to get out the fake plastic lenses without messing up the frames...

Those are totally cute!

I would check lenscrafters or Market Optical?

Maybe you could bring the frames in and they could fit the lenses in?

2009-04-01 20:31:40 by Blue Uke

Top Ten Reasons to Keep Gay Marriage Illegal

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
Fazizzle, I think the point flew right over your head.

Yes we should be able to legally marry and no it won't ruin society. First on my agenda though is being able to serve openly in the military. I had to stay in the closet for my 24 years of Army service and it wasn't at all fair. This Gay M1A1 master gunner was the best shot with the M256 cannon the Army ever had. Shooting straight is the only thing straight about me.

2007-10-09 14:14:34 by guess